It’s not uncommon to hear about couples who just can’t go on together anymore. One of the common reasons they break up is bad sex. Although there can be all sorts of things going on behind the curtain, we’d argue that most of them come down to lack of action in the bedroom. It’s an unfortunate situation, but what if we say you can prevent that?
Nowadays, all sorts of fetishes and kinks are getting more traction in everyday life. From role-playing to threesomes, we’ve seen it all. However, there’s this amazing thing called swinging we think you should try out. It might seem weird at first, but when push comes to shove, there’s nothing taboo about wanting to save your sex life.
What Is Swinging?
Swinging is a social practice that allows both partners to have free sex with other people. It’s a non-monogamy lifestyle, meaning you’re not tied to having intimate relations with just your partner. There are different reasons why people opt to try it out. In most cases, it comes down to sexual experimentation.
Some choose to pursue this practice to experience better sex in larger quantities. Others enjoy it purely as a fetish. Either way, it’s an interesting way of reviving your sex life. No matter how weird it might appear at first, it can prove to be a relationship saver.
The point of swinging isn’t cheating and doing something behind your partner’s back. This lifestyle includes full consent from both sides. Hence, swingers attend special parties that allow them to meet others who enjoy this as well. So in some way, you could argue that it’s a social fetish that brings different people together.
Is Swinging Right for You?
In case you’re willing to spice your life up and are an open-minded person, you should consider going for it. Sure as hell, all this seems easier said than done. However, in reality, swinger couples aren’t some mysterious people you only see on TV. You’d be surprised to know how many random, average folks enjoy this lifestyle.
Of course, we’re not saying it’s something everyone will enjoy. It’s more of an option for specific couples to expand their stale sex life. After all, kinks and fetishes come from people trying to break free from traditions and norms. Hence, if the two of you are feeling trapped in your current relationship, you should consider it.
If you do, it’s key you become tolerant of sharing your loved one with someone else. A real swinger couple knows they’re still important to one another even though they’re having sex with other people. Their bond is more than physical — it’s built on trust. Therefore, sharing comes easy for these couples.
Have a Talk With Your Partner
Before you immerse yourself in swinging, you must start a conversation with your other half. We’d never back cheating or doing something behind your partner’s back — it’s simply wrong. Also, being transparent is more than helpful for building a successful swinger relationship. So play your cards right, and you’ll have a better chance of turning your life around.
It might be a good idea to steadily build your story. You should start by asking your partner how they feel about the current state of your relationship and if there’s anything they’d like to change. Listen carefully and be patient with them and their views. When the time comes for you to speak, tell them that you lack excitement when it comes to sex.
Explain how you feel about trying out something new and quirky. Ask them what their views on sharing your bed with a third person are. Add that this isn’t only about you and that they could also benefit from it. Finally, mention that this can bring you closer to one another on a different level.
How to Start Swinging
Besides agreeing with your partner on what you’re planning to do, finding others is probably the biggest problem of swinging. Sure, we’ve mentioned swinger parties and clubs, but those things come to play afterward. First, you’ll need to experience “couple swapping” in a more intimate situation. After all, you might not like it, so going to a swinger party would be useless.
Usually, the first step in swinging is checking who’d fit your fantasy the best. And yes, this might seem like a start to a threesome, but you have to begin somewhere. Talk to your close friends, someone you trust, about your idea. Tell them you’re totally fine with sharing and how that will help you bridge an important step in your lives.
In case everything goes as planned, include them in your swapping foursome fantasy. Your friend can help with finding the fourth person for your ultimate enjoyment. After that, the next step should be going out to a swinger club or bar where you’ll find people who enjoy this practice as much as you do. Of course, you can skip the friend part if it seems impossible and go straight to the club, but we advise you to take it slow in the beginning.
Rules and Boundaries
Every fantasy and fetish sounds awesome in your head, but when it comes to real-life — it might be difficult to pull off. Due to different reasons, be it practicality or the complexity of human relations, some things need more planning before they start to work. Therefore, we’d suggest the two of you set some rules and boundaries before you become swingers.
As we’ve already mentioned, a relationship like this one is solely based on trust and understanding. Even if kinks are products of breaking norms, boundaries can sometimes help you enjoy them freely. Wife swapping is a delicate fetish, and it can lead to conflict in a matter of moments. Hence, explaining to one another what’ll work and what won’t is essential.
Debrief With Your Partner
As much as planning before going into action seems important, talking about what has just happened is too. Just like opening up to one another when first introducing the idea of swinging, you should be fully transparent after each outing. Sometimes, people tend to hide how they feel about certain things because they fear they’ll hurt their partner, and that’s one thing you’ll want to avoid.
You should share your thoughts and feelings, and you’ll prevent imminent damage to your relationship. But your debriefings don’t always have to involve doubts about your actions. You can also talk about what you’d like to change the next time around. This way, you’ll make sure you prevent mistakes and improve your swinger relationship even further.
Just remember to be fully transparent. Conversation is key for any couple, especially a swinging one. So be honest, and you’ll have a better chance of succeeding at what you’re trying to accomplish.